Rejection is rough, no matter how you slice it. But it’s also an inescapable fact of life, and our ability to deal with failure and rejection has a hand in determining how successful and happy we are.
Think of the people you most admire — many of them didn’t get where they are just by sailing through life without any negative experiences or failures. In the words of Winston Churchill, “It is the courage to continue that counts.” Resilance is knowing how to bounce back from failure — over and over again.
So how do resilient people differ from those who become paralyzed by every failure and setback?
Here are seven habits of highly resilient people — and ways that you can improve your own ability to cope with challenges. (Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/02/habits-of-resilient-people_n_3818652.html?utm_hp_ref=healthy-living)
1.) They fully experience both positive and negative emotions.
Building resilience isn’t about blind optimism. Rather than looking only on the bright side and pushing away negative emotions, resilient people let themselves experience what they’re feeling in any given situation, whether it’s good or bad, according to Positivity author Barbara Fredrickson.
2.) They’re realistically optimistic.
A recent Taiwan National University study found that adopting an attitude of “realistic optimism,” which combines the positive outlook of optimists with the critical thinking of pessimists, can boost happiness and resilience.
3.) They “reject rejection.”
Rejection chips away at our self-esteem and confidence, making us fall harder with each subsequent setback or failure. But rejection is inevitable, and coping with it effectively is essential to becoming resilient.
4.) They build strong support systems.
When you get knocked down hard, it’s important to have the resources to help you get back up again, which includes having people to lean on.
5.) They notice (and appreciate) the little, positive things.
Resilient people are good at tapping into their “positivity ratio.” This means that they notice and appreciate the little joys and victories — which keeps them from feeling like “everything” is going wrong. Her research has shown that a three-to-one ratio of positive to negative experiences is ideal for building resilience and boosting happiness.
6.) They seek out opportunities for growth and learning.
Those who have mastered the art of resilience know that setbacks and challenges can be our most powerful learning opportunities. Some of the world’s most successful people have been fired from their jobs, and used the experience to learn something about themselves.
7.) They’re endlessly grateful.
Gratitude is known to boost health and well-being — and those who are thankful may enjoy better physical health and mood than those who focus on hassles and complaints.